The last long post was a little bit whiney. I'm done now. What I should be focusing on (besides the strange man in the white pickup that has been watching my house for an hour), is how thankful I am for all our stuff and how great it is to be able to get great things when we see them.
One great things about reading crafty blogs is the idea of personal aesthetic vs the idea of what might be really visually pleasing or popular. I find myself being thrown from one direction to another in my likes and (very rarely) dislikes of home decor, fine art, sewing, etc. The idea of an english tea room adjacent to an uber modern kitchen off of a kitchy 50s playroom does not seem entirely random when you find yourself liking the look of all of them. I find myself visiting certain blogs over and over to let the feel of them come over me-- which is probably band for their bandwith, but a testament to the way they've been able to define and edit their spaces-- real or internet-real.
It is so much fun getting excited about other people's ideas, and there is a funny kind of joy at seeing something 'found' by someone else that triggers the same emotions in me as it did in them. While I started the blog to help me (among other things) process projects and motivate me to finish them, there is a funny little feeling that I won't fit in or that none of this stuff really matters. If I'm having a particularly insecure day, I'll find myself coveting somebodies treasures or making a little face when somebody names and claims a great idea I might have had once. It's silly really. If I can't feel good about a space that I'm creating myself then I just need to pack it in and head home.
This is all to say that we have a great house that we're filling with great things. I just want to be sure that they are things full of meaning for us. That it's stuff that in one way or another makes this place our house. It's the same with this place. The blog medium is fantastic. I just want it to be a place that is full of meaning-- even if it's just the little stuff.
I have a bunch of squares to cut out, Sam is safely sleeping upstairs, and Starting Over is on the tube-- the show that makes it clear how perfectly functional most of us really are.